Wednesday, December 10, 2014

A Holly Jolly Year (after all)

It is hard to believe that it has been six months since I became a stay-at-home mom (SAHM) to my then one year old. Scared out of my mind and completely unsure of the future I did the only thing I knew to do… embrace the unknown.

Through moments of sheer weakness, anxiety, sadness and hurt, my thought process at the time was kinda like this: What the heck am I supposed to teach my daughter to help her excel in school? I’m home now so I need to cook…what? When did groceries get this expensive? Hello coupons! What do SAHMs do all day – surely there is a support group or a SAHM to do list. Ugh, I have to organize this house…why was I storing “this” there?

And so I got down to business. I reorganized our house. I started watching my now favorite TV show, “The Chew”, and I started a garden. I figured out quickly that Monday mornings were the WORST days to go to the grocery store because the shelves are empty!!!!!!!!! (SO AGGRAVATING!) I figured out that I actually liked to cook different things (like leeks, sprouts, and fennel…oh I love me some fennel) and learned how to braise meat, brine meat, roast meat, and season meat. Momma is doing it now, y’all!

I also learned that I can teach my daughter anything I wanted and I could go as fast as she was willing to absorb. I decided that ‘structure’ is a four-letter word… this was a huge learning curve for me, but one I’ve learned to deal with. Not to mention the fact that if I push my daughter’s naptime to “quickly” run ONE last errand then I can’t be mad if she’s cranky, “dis-o-b-e-nt” (as she says), or unruly… not that she ever is! (wink wink) Structure… is in fact my friend.

I rise really early for "me time" and devote the entire morning to my husband and daughter. And when my TV show comes on and my daughter is down for a nap, I recharge… because the rest of the day is again reserved for others. But I LOVE it!

Here is what I learned the most. To love… hard. To give… freely (not begrudgingly and NOT because it puts me on the who’s who list – yes, I was that girl. To be free… all the time. To be here… now. And to be me… as I continue to discover just exactly who me is.

This year has been the best year of my life. I am beside myself with the blessings that have poured into my family’s life. When we weren’t looking they arrived with beautiful bows. When we were praying for favor, it was granted. Our life, today, is the life we are thankful to God for. Losing sight of our walk proved to be treacherous but finding it again has been pure perfection.

This holiday season, the season we celebrate the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, finds me in a lovely place. A peaceful place. A happy place. Happy, in fact, has been the word for our family for a few months now. I can only imagine what 2015 has to offer us. All I know is that I will continue to embrace this magnificent life.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

New blog site coming soon……

Monday, December 1, 2014

For the First Time in Forever

In all my years of celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday, none has hit home like this year. As with many things of late, I was present. At one point over the holiday I was lying in bed when a rush of happiness washed over me bringing me to tears. My tears were appreciative tears, tears as a result of being set free. I am happy “for the first time in forever” (thank you Anna & Elsa) not because I have life but because I am finally living life or at least finding out how to live… truly L-I-V-E.

I have so much thanks in my heart for #mynewnormal. Happiness doesn't mean I never get sad or have disappointments. That's inevitable. It means I enjoy making my own paradise. It means I feel rich. I feel full. I feel complete. I'm learning how to make my own paradise by learning what really makes life rich. How can I not be thankful? And one could say that I should have had that all along but I say the past is just that… the past. I am living in the present having learned lessons from my past and building a better future for myself and my beautiful family. I think that’s what life is about. Enjoy what's around you no matter how much of it you have. And be sure the special people in your life know how much you love them.

I’m looking forward to sharing more of my life with you next year. We are recreating the blog so that I can share my personal journey of self-exploration, my experiences as a stay at home mom, and my adventures as an #amateurchef. Hopefully you’ll laugh as much as I do these days. My life (mainly my sweet Pepper) definitely keeps me on my toes!

Happy holiday's sweet friends!!!